July 27, 2021 - News Post

20 years ago today, Evil Adam released "The Ballad of Dr. Lobster", the official theme song of Dr. Lobster comics.

The remastered version is out now on Spotify, iTunes, etc. Give it a listen-- there are worse ways to loosen earwax.

Lyrics
by Evil Adam

Somewhere down in a peninsula,
comes a tale of many folk.
Some tall some short, some genetic freaks,
some addicted to diet coke.
In a secret room in Lobster labs,
The Dr. creates a plan,
to clone a human, a real being,
Named Steve, a hairless man.
The purpose of this trial
in genetic duplication,
was simply to test the stress on one
through repeated mutilation.
A thousand deaths to a thousand clones
of just one tiny man.
The Doctor's mind was all but shot,
but still his ground would stand.

Meanwhile behind the innocent facade
of a couple friendly dopes.
The Tall man and not-as-tall man
cling on to little hope
of ever doing anything
that would benefit mankind
Except for making a couple jokes
and eating some pork rinds

Fat and skinny, tall and taller
dumb and not as dumb.
One's lonelyless of being girlfriendless
did cause him to succumb
To the ways of genetic trickery,
and made himself a pal.
A combination of DNA,
amalgamated in hell.
Sincho Galameany is the name
of this poor soul.
A mix of Sinbad, Gallagher
Kevin Meany and Margaret Cho.
Demented and devious,
a saviour to us all,
A friend to George Lucas
and a friend to not-as-tall.

Now, Robot Fonze is another case,
something went totally wrong.
The thumbs up, leather,
greasy hair, and never-mentioned bong.
What's amiss we can not tell,
He seems sent from above.
Simply he's a wonder,
Robot Fonze is just pure love.

All of this takes place here
in just 4 panels, you see.
But I have to take a little break,
I really have to pee.

Now that I have come back,
and my pants are free of soup,
I must summarize this land of freaks
who seem to hang in groups.
Besides those few we talked about,
there is also those we didn't.
That bitchy Heather is one of them,
she can't stand them when they're kidding.
A couple thugs here and there,
and BY CRACKY, we're almost done!
But Don Hasket, and Cecil do,
and I think I'm forgetting one.

Who else but Satan,
he himself, it comes as no surprise.
Though from hell he looks suited
for the starship enterprise.
But thats ok, As I'm sure
he does it pretty well,
On that note this song is over,
I'll see you all in hell!

Why are you still reading?!? Go listen to the song!

-Jeff